Roger Ebert’s latest blog post is a touching tribute to his late father as Roger reminisces about his childhood with his dad. After reading it, I started thinking about what my children would write about me when they’re adults as they look back on their childhood, and I realized something. While I hope that they’ll focus on the pleasant memories more than the unpleasant ones–as we all tend to do when reminiscing–I realized that I probably haven’t been the person that I really want them to remember.
I’ve been feeling lost, aimless, and defeated lately, not having achieved the level of success that I had hoped for by the time I turned 40–which I did back in January. Somehow I always pictured myself as being in a more secure place career-wise, financially, and as a husband and father–especially when compared to my peers. I try to keep in mind that we all have our respective problems–despite the flawless facades displayed on social networking sites like Facebook–but sometimes that’s easier said than done, especially during those lonely and worrisome hours in the middle of the night.
Reading Roger Ebert’s blog post served as a most welcome reminder, though, that despite our flaws as human beings, we still have the potential to provide pleasant memories for those closest to us after we’re gone, as long as we keep our focus on the truly important things in life: each other. It’s all too easy to lose sight of this in the hectic day-to-day routine of our lives, but maybe beginning each day with the thought, “How will my loved ones remember me if I were to be taken from them today?”, can keep our priorities properly aligned. Some might perceive this as a rather morbid way of thinking, but I believe it can also serve as a powerful inspiration, even on those days that seem the bleakest.
In The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, Stephen R. Covey addresses this idea when he advises us to “begin with the end in mind”; suggesting that we approach our lives with the mental image of how our loved ones will eulogize us at our funeral. And while I did understand this concept in principle, it took the personal narrative of a writer I admire–Roger Ebert–to truly capture the impact and power of this idea–though I’m sure that was not his primary intention. And for that, Mr. Ebert, I thank you. I hope to embrace this philosophy more strongly and become a better person as a result; one who will be worthy of my children’s bittersweet reminiscing someday.