My mother-in-law celebrated her 75th birthday this weekend, and my wife made a picture video for her consisting of photographs that spanned just about her mother’s entire life. And as I watched the video with the rest of her family, I was struck by several things.
First, just how fleeting time really is. Comparing the faded black-and-white photographs of my mother-in-law as a young, bright-eyed woman with her whole life ahead of her and a sparkle of hope in her eyes to the mild-mannered woman she is now, having lost two husbands, and having seen all of her children grow up to adulthood with children of their own… I bet she looked back at those photos and couldn’t help but wonder where all those years went.
Second, how snapshots and photographs paint an inaccurate picture of one’s life. The smiling faces at birthdays, holidays, parties, and countless spontaneous occasions often gloss over a person’s inner struggles and disappointments. Dreams of youth left unfulfilled as the years tick by… The innocence of the doe-eyed bride lost to the sometimes harsh and bitter truths and realities of marriage… Hopeful young parents cuddling with helpless infants or eager toddlers blowing out birthday candles eventually having to cope with resentful and rebellious adolescents.
Third, how we as human beings are defined by those with whom we share our lives. That had we made different choices along our journey through life–marry a different spouse, for example–the photographic record of our lives would be completely different, with different supporting characters smiling back at the camera alongside us.
For better or worse, the photographs chronicling our lives don’t really tell the complete story, as I said. And maybe that’s not such a bad thing. Maybe we need to look back at the events of our lives through rose-colored glasses to remind us of why we made the choices that we did, and recall the happier occasions–contrived or otherwise. It’s selective remembering, to be sure, but probably for the better. That maybe some of the sacrifices we made and dreams forfeited were all for a reason, unbeknownst to us, and that what’s really important is the people with whom we found ourselves sharing our journey through life.